All I ever wanted was your life.

This blog inspires me to go out and do new things so I have more to talk about. Today I met a dog who I think was called Elvis and rescued my cat from the top of the wardrobe using a washing basket and a whistle.

Loyal readers will note how weird the blog looks. I decided to play with themes and it went horribly wrong. I can’t get it back to it’s previous, near perfect state so we’re stuck like this. It’s a travesty I’m sure you’ll agree.

I’ve been eating these “Discovery Patch” sweets a lot, mainly because the advert features the words “fat, spiky ball” and it’s hilarious every time. They come in three different types but obviously you get the one with mermaids in because you want to lick mermaid boobs in the privacy of your own home. They’re quite nice. I used to like these other sweets until they changed the banana flavour snakes into lemon flavour snakes. Fascists.

We’ve had perfect weather the last two days, warm but raining. I love that weird smell you get when it starts raining on a warm day. I probably wouldn’t wear it if they managed to bottle it as a fragrance though. Some air freshener company is trying to sell some plug in things that apparently smell like four different national parks. Do you know what national parks smell like? Wet grass and dog shit with notes of disappointment when you realize that the school trip you’d been looking forward to is three hours sat in a field listening to some idiot talk about erosion.

Here is a picture of me.


I call this look “Stripper at a funeral” because I’d like to live in a world were strippers attend every event in some form of themed stripping attire. I think that would probably lead to a lot of strippers who can’t really drive passing driving tests which would no doubt end in many, many deaths on the roads which in turn would mean more funerals for strippers where the other strippers attend in similar outfits to the one pictured above leading to an increase in heart attacks among old religious type people. All in all, I think this one change could really tackle the problem of overpopulation and I hope to see it implemented by 2017 at the latest.

I don’t know what the theme would be for a driving test though. Maybe a slutty traffic cone.

Anyway, as you’ve probably guessed I visited the dark style fair. It was hell. Lovely things for sale, of course, but ridiculous lag and payment problems. I saw idiots attempting to walk around with scripted weapons, I saw idiots dragging other afk idiots around on leashes taking up two spots in the sim for no real reason. All in all, it was idiots galore. That rhymes, sort of. Tee hee.

To be perfectly honest with you, there is an element of trickery involved in this outfit. There’s a little overlapping when viewed from certain angles and thanks to a lack of alpha layers the collar occasionally clips. So, if you decide to replicate this, stand very still.


Hat and Hair. Spellbound.
I was ready for this to be terrible. I do not have a good track record with hats in SL, hats are my Ultros, but it was all okay. There’s not a lot else to say, bit anti-climatic. I used to live near a shop that seemed to only stock porn mags and ice poles. Also, this is from the Dark Style Fair.
Jacket. Secret Store.
I love this jacket and most things this place puts out actually. The white version is obviously my favourite but I had to go with black for this stripper funeral outfit for obvious reasons. I believe it’s an old Collabor88 item but it’s in store now.
Gloves. Tapi.
Tapi makes a lot of neat, sometimes pervy things and doesn’t get nearly enough attention as far as I’m concerned. I’ve also known her a while and she has a big brown butt. Sometimes you might think you’ve met Tapi but aren’t entirely sure if that’s the case. In this situation I advise you to examine the person’s rear. Is it brown? Is it also large? If so, you may just be speaking to Tapi.
Skirt and Suspenders. Razor.
Lovely skirt but I have to say it’s kinda hard to wear mesh tops with. I’d have loved an option to turn off the suspenders. I don’t think you’re actually meant to try and wear mesh tops with it though, so, depending on how much of your tit area you like to expose, you may have even more fun with it than I did! This store’s great actually, I wasn’t really aware of them before. I got this at the Dark Style Fair but I’m not actually sure if it’s exclusive to there!
Heels. Blah.
There’s an exclusive black version of these at the Dark Style Fair with some additional colours for the charms and bows, I’m wearing the normal version here though, which is also at the fair but I think will be in the store later.
Mask. Illusions.
This mask is still one of my favourite things ever. Anytime I feel an outfit needs a little more pizzazz I put it on and BAM pizzazz as far as the eye can see. I’m stood here knee deep in pizzazz right now, going to have to clean it up when I finish this post.

Stuff with less words.

Skin. Sugar Garden.
Ink. Utopiah and Infected.
Stockings. StickyZ.
Collar. Happy Undead.
Cross. Tres Blah.
Bangles. Apple May Designs.

I think that’s probably everything.

I’m having cheese pasta for dinner. With hot dog sausages. Today is the fabled three hotdog sausage meal week. Yesterday was regular hotdogs, today is hotdog pasta, tomorrow is hotdog bagels. Thursday is beans on bagel day. Maybe pizza on Friday if my dastardly plan comes together. More on that later. Possibly. Look forward to it but like, not too much in case it doesn’t happen. You know when you start getting older and each year you’re less and less sure you’ll be getting sweets on Halloween? That sort of anticipation, where you’ve already accepted deep down that it’s probably not going to happen but it sure would be nice if it did.

I can’t stop eating Oreos today. Those double stuffed buggers. It’s impossible to go back to a regular stuffed way of life now isn’t it? I think this is what they mean when they warn you about gateway drugs, I’m on the hard stuff now and there’s no way back for me, I’ve hit rock bottom, I lay here in a pile of discarded biscuit halves, you know the one without the cream on? Those.

That should do it. I’ll be off.


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