Mr. Big got an expectation, thinks he thinks he’s my education.

Alright me old cobbers/cobbettes?

Another long break, I know, it really is a good thing I’m not in any blogging groups isn’t it? I think I’d be blacklisted rather quickly if I so much as attempted to join one. Still, I only blog to write and I only write when I’m in the writing mood and I don’t seem to have any say over when I’m in that mood. If you have a problem with that, please take it up with my brain. I’ve tried talking to her but she doesn’t listen to me.

So, what’s new with you? How’s the wife? Still got that rash? Terrible, I feel for you. Me? Well, I’ve been working hard at work which long term readers will know is a rarity for me, it’s really been cutting into my walking around in circles for two hours to see if anyone even notices I’m there time.

My cat brought in a grasshopper today. I don’t know how, I think it was stuck in her fur. Anyway, when it jumped off and started hopping around the bed we both freaked the fuck out and cowered in the corner of the room until someone came to save us. I did my best to explain that she was much faster than me and could probably kill and perhaps eat it but I’m not even sure she speaks English and seemed to content to wait for rescue with me. I’m curious to know if she would have the same plan if the house was ever on fire, because while I’m quite sure she could have killed a grasshopper if she’d wanted to, I’m fairly sure she couldn’t put out a fire or drag my unconscious body through the smoke and flames.

Here is a picture of me and Crysta!

thatstrangegirlkeepsbringingherdildotophotoshoots

I call this look “I wanted Crysta to help me name this look but I think she was afk or busy so I’m just going to name it Aqua Booty” because I wanted Crysta to help me name it but I think she’s afk or busy and I’m listening to Aqua Boogie on repeat and our butts look good. I don’t know. I’m shrugging to you, my future readers as I type this.

I love blogging with Crysta, she makes wonderful outfits and takes lovely pictures leaving me to focus purely on writing nonsense! This collaboration wasn’t really planned, I’d shown Crysta my outfit shortly before passing out last night and she suggested we do a post together. When I woke up today after my five hour after work nap, she was looking prettyful and a post was made! Simple! Future generations would come to know this day as “Aqua Booty Day” and celebrate by learning to swim wearing latex catsuits in between long sessions of funk.

I’m not entirely sure why I have a dildo with me in the picture. Perhaps someone put superglue on it as a prank and I didn’t have time to remove it? They didn’t, but feel free to believe that or use your own imagination to conjure up some sort of explanation, it’ll be fun!

Stuff.

Hair. Spellbound.
Another lovely Spellbound hair, the bow is adorable. This might be discounted somewhere? I think I remember reading that in a notice? I could be very wrong or I could have been right if I’d told you sooner. Regardless, by the time you read this it’s likely full price again so just go buy it.
Catsuit. N*Monkey.
I’ll admit, I’ve never heard of this place before but if they’re going to be making more latex things, that’s good and they should be rewarded with praise and perhaps a yakult.
Fur.. thing. T. Whore.
I love fur. I hope this is real fur, maybe from like, a purple bear or something, maybe a care bear? Wearing it gives you +5 empathy which ironically makes you hate yourself for wearing real animal fur.
Heels. DirtyMind.
This place gets points purely for making heels in the exact shade of purple I needed. Maybe the owner is from an alternate future where I couldn’t find the shoes I needed for this post and instead made a long rant about how nowhere made the right colour purple heels which inspired an ill fated revolution killing millions? We’ll never know.
Collar. Happy Undead.
I think most people own this collar but I’m not sure people are aware that it’s had an update. You can change the colour of the metal now along with the charm on the back. Maybe people already do that and I’m the only one who didn’t, either way, information!
Dildo. Under my bed.
Hahaha, that was a hilarious joke. It’s actually from bwish. You can buy and carry one around with you too or perhaps shove it up one of your holes? The choice is yours!

Stuff with less words.

Skin. Sugar Garden
Earrings. Blah.
Belly Chain. Puncture.

I think that might be everything?

Crysta’s details can be found here! I highly suggesting following her blog and flickr too, easily the hardest working blogger I know!

I’ve got two weeks off work soon. I don’t really have any plans. I hinted that I may decide to eat pizza from my favourite pizza place every single day but that idea has been quickly shot down. I’m still going to go at least twice though. Fuck me, that pizza is heavenly. You can also attempt to hug swans on the way there since it’s right on the river, most of the time they seem like they don’t want a hug but occasionally you see that little glimmer in their eyes, that little hint that despite their hostile demeanor, deep down, they crave the comfort that only a human’s arms can bring.

One day, after drinking far too much overpriced wine from the aforementioned pizza place, I will hug a swan and likely die shortly afterwards.

I’m going to turn in now, it’s getting late and these old bones need rest. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do kids!

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